Site Updated : 27 December, 2009
Portrait of Maréchale Lannes, Duchesse de Montebello with Her Children (1814 Oil on canvas), by Marguerite Gérard (b. 1761. Grasse, d. 1837, Paris) Private Collection

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Home Alone After School: Safety Tips for Latchkey Kids

by Rebecca Sweat

Your 8- and 11-year-old sons come home from school at 3:30, but you don’t get home from work until 6 p.m. Whether you like it or not, your children have to fend for themselves as “latchkey kids” for a couple hours every weekday afternoon. It’s certainly not ideal, but you can’t help it. You and your spouse both need to work to pay the bills, which means 8 to 5 jobs for each of you. You may have checked into paying for after-school daycare or enrolling your kids in after-school activities, but the costs are way too high for your budget.

The truth is, you’re not the first parent to have faced this dilemma. Even in your parents’ or grandparents’ days, there were children who had to come home to empty houses after school. In fact, the term “latchkey kids” actually originated in the early 1940s, when the need for women to work in the war industry led to a large number of children staying home alone during the after-school hours. These children wore the key to their home tied on a string around their necks. 

Today, however, with an increasing number of parents who work, latchkey kids are becoming more common. Typically these children are alone for somewhere between 1 and 3 hours every weekday afternoon, with many having the added responsibility of caring for younger siblings, too.

That can’t help but create some anxiety for parents. What if your kids lose the keys and can’t get into the house when they arrive home from school? What if they turn on the stove and hurt themselves? What if there’s a power outage or a tornado warning? And, heaven forbid, what if a child molester follows them home after they get off the bus? An endless number of “What if?” scenarios that can run through a parent’s head. Still, there’s no reason to have to fret about your children’s safety—if you’ve taken proper precautions ahead of time. Here’s what local law enforcement officials recommend:

Know Whether Your Kids are Ready

The most important step you can take to ensure your children’s safety while they are home alone after school is to determine whether they are ready for the responsibility .

There is no magic formula to measure a child’s readiness to assume self care at home. “A lot of it has to do with the child’s maturity level and ability to problem-solve,” says Mike Drugan, a detective with the DuPage County, Illinois Sheriff’s Office in the Special Victims Unit. “This is something that’s going to vary from one individual to another. In some cases, a 12- and 13-year-old may be more than ready to take on the responsibilities of self care. But I’ve also known 14- and 15-year-olds who probably shouldn’t be left home alone.”

Some questions you should ask yourself to help you access your children’s maturity level include: Are your children able to keep themselves occupied or do they need constant supervision? Do your children get along well with each other or do they fight a lot? Do they understand—and follow—safety instructions? Do they make good decisions under pressure? Can you rely on your children to tell the truth? Are your children able to deal with unexpected situations in a positive way?

In addition to being capable of self-care, a latchkey child should want to stay home alone and should be comfortable assuming the additional responsibility. Ask your children what they think about being on their own for a couple hours after school.

“If your child is afraid to be left home alone or if he or she is prone to be a worrier, that should end it right there,” says Michael Goy, Crime Prevention Officer for the Lake Forest Police Department, near Chicago. Some children simply cannot handle being by themselves. They may experience exaggerated fears, chronic loneliness, depression and even poor academic achievement. On the other hand, Goy says, “there are children who will welcome the opportunity to demonstrate their maturity and will take pride in being allowed to take charge.”

Do a Thorough Safety Check of the Home

Talk to your children about the potential deadly consequences of guns, power tools, drugs, adult beverages, cigarettes, medicines, harsh cleaning supplies and other toxic chemicals. “If you have these kinds of items in your home, keep them in a secure place where they will be out of your children’s sight and locked up,” advises Steven Millar, an officer with the Streamwood Police Department and past president for Illinois DARE officer’s association.

Make sure your front and back doors have secure deadbolts, and that all windows lock properly. There should be a smoke detector on every floor of the home. Explain to your children how to lock the windows and doors and what to do if the smoke detectors or burglar alarm goes off. If you have a built-in swimming pool, make sure the pool gate latches properly and stays locked.

If you’ve always kept a spare key under the doormat or a planter by the front door, this is the time to stop. Thieves know people keep their keys in these places. If you want to your kids to have access to a spare set of house keys, just in case they lose their own, Goy says it’s far better to leave the extra keys with a trusted neighbor. And even better, he adds, “Have your kids wear their keys on a chain around the neck and tucked inside a shirt, pinned inside a pocket or attached to a belt loop. That way they won’t easily lose them!”


Establish “House Rules”

Come up with a list of “house rules” and go over each rule with your children before you leave them home alone for the first time. Talk about why each rule is important and how it will keep them safe. “Keep your rules at a reasonable number so that they’re not overwhelming,” advises Andrea Usry, a juvenile detective with the Lake County Sheriff’s Office in Waukegan, Illinois.

Stick with essential rules, like: Come straight home from school and stay indoors. Start your homework within 15 minutes of arriving home. Don’t have guests over. If someone comes to door—friends included but especially strangers—don’t answer it. Do not use sharp kitchen knives, the stovetop, or the oven (note: this will necessitate that you have no-fuss snacks on hand for your kids, like fruit, crackers, cereal and yogurt). Write your rules down, post them, and review them with your children periodically. 

 
Teach Your Kids How to Answer the Phone

If someone calls and asks for a parent, your child should know how to say Mom or Dad can’t come to the phone without letting the caller know they are home alone. The best response is simply to say, “My mom’s not able to come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?” or “My dad’s not available.” You may also want to take advantage of Caller ID. This way, you can tell your kids not to answer the phone unless it’s you or your spouse’s cell phone or work number, or perhaps Grandma’s or Grandpa’s home number.

Prohibit Internet Usage When You're Not at Home

Most law enforcement officials advise against children using the Internet while their parents are away. “There are more predators on the Internet between the hours of 3 and 6 p.m. than any other time of the day, because they know this is when kids are getting home from school and they know that parents work,” notes Sally Trujillo, a juvenile officer with the Aurora, Illinois Police Department. She cautions against parents allowing their latchkey kids to browse the Internet, go on chat rooms or send out emails or instant messages. “There are so many situations that kids can get caught up in,” she warns. “The kids feel safe because they’re inside their home, but in reality they may not be. Kids have no idea who they are really speaking to when they’re on the Internet.”

Rather than unplug the computer and disallow its usage altogether (because many kids DO need to use the computer to complete school assignments), Trujillo recommends you install Internet filtering software on your computer such as CyberPatrol, Cybersitter, Max Protect or MacAfee Parental Controls. These programs will prevent your children from accessing unapproved websites.

Have an Emergency Plan

Talk with your kids about the possible emergency situations they might encounter and what they should do in response. Make sure they know what constitutes an emergency situation and what doesn’t. They need to know that a serious wound or injury, a house fire, a home break-in, being followed home from school, a stranger staring at them through the windows and refusing to leave—all are emergency situations and warrant calling 9-1-1.

Make sure your children know your home address, so that they can provide this information to the emergency operator when they call. In many communities, the phone number is linked to the address on the computer system, so the dispatcher automatically has it. But in other towns, Goy notes, “the phone numbers are not linked to addresses or may be incorrect because someone has moved to a new address and has taken their old phone number with them, so it’s important that your child can provide your address.”

It’s a good idea to have a fire drill with your children, so that they know how to escape a house fire. A fire extinguisher and first aid kit should be accessible to them, and they should know how to use both. You should also have a plan for what to do in a power outage, tornado warning or other weather-related emergency.

There are other situations your children may face which may not constitute an emergency but still warrant help from an adult. Perhaps your child has a headache and wants to know if she can take some aspirin, or maybe she’s gotten several crank calls and is starting to get spooked. For these situations your children should have a list of adults they can call if you and your spouse are not available to answer your phones at work. Include the numbers of relatives and friends who live close by, or perhaps a trusted neighbor. Be sure to let these people know in advance that your children might be calling them in an emergency. Post the list near all your telephones in your house.

Develop a Phone Check Routine

Have your kids call you at work immediately after arriving home from school so that you know they made it home safely. When they call, ask them whether they encountered any problems, whether they’ve locked the doors and whether they need anything. If there’s a chance you might not be at your phone when they call, instruct them to leave a voicemail message. Then you can call them back when you return to your workspace.

You may want to phone your kids an hour or two after their call, just to make sure they’re doing fine, advises Drugan. So an hour after the kids got home, you might call them and ask, “What are you doing right now?” “Have you started your homework?” “Do you need any help?” Not only is this a good way to monitor how your kids are doing, it can also serve as a prod to get them studying.

Rehearse and Observe

Before you begin leaving your kids home alone, Millar suggests you do some role playing with them to see if they know how to handle different situations they might encounter while at home by themselves. You might ask them: “You’re home alone and somebody comes to the front door. What do you do?” “What should you do if you hear a tornado siren or if the smoke alarm goes off?” “Suppose you break a glass and it shatters all over the floor. Do you pick up the pieces with your hands or sweep it up with a broom and dustpan?”

“Obviously you can’t prepare your kids for every possible scenario, but if you role play different circumstances with them it will help them build up their confidence level and become more comfortable dealing with new situations,” Millar says.

Show Understanding and Appreciation

After your kids have spent a few afternoons home alone, sit down with them, ask them how the time alone is going, invite them to express their concerns, and carefully go over the areas where additional attention is needed. If your kids want to share problems or concerns, be willing to listen.

If everything doesn’t always go perfectly, try to be understanding. “No matter how mature your child acts, he or she is still a child,” Usry says. “Children invariably make mistakes. They don’t always react in a situation as you wish they would.” Her own children were once latchkey kids and “they didn’t always act like adults, to put it mildly,” she adds with a chuckle. Sometimes they caved in when the neighborhood kids wanted to come inside the house, or got into mischief rather than doing their homework. There were also occasions when Usry came home from work to find her children were running around the subdivision chasing after the dog that got loose. These things happen.

Give your children plenty of encouragement, support and reinforcement, and treat their mistakes as learning experiences instead of failures. Tell them how much you appreciate their helpfulness, self-reliance and cooperation while you are away and be liberal with appropriate rewards for good conduct.

Drugan suggests you have a written agreement with your children about what is expected—that they follow the house rules, that they don’t fight with each other while you are at work, that they get their homework done by the time you come home, that they don’t complain about their new responsibilities—and then hold them to that contract.

“Treat it just like you would a business contact,” Drugan says. “If they don’t follow them through on their end, there are going to be consequences. But if they do what they’re supposed to, there are going to be rewards.” These may include a bonus in their allowance, or going out for ice cream after dinner.

In most cases, Drugan continues, “When youngsters understand how critical their support and cooperation are to their parents and to the family as a whole, they are eager to demonstrate their ability to accept responsibility.”  

In the process, kids learn how to organize and manage their time and plan their schedules—which are important life skills, adds Millar. Of course, these skills will only be built if practiced correctly. The key in making it work, he stressed, is education. “If you take the time to educate your kids about what’s expected of them, in most cases, everything’s going to work out fine,” Millar says. “Your kids learn independence and responsibility, and you can breathe easier knowing your kids are doing okay while they’re home alone.” For most of us, work pressures are stress enough. It’s a great relief if you don’t have to worry about your kids, too.

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Rebecca Sweat is a freelance magazine journalist specializing in health, pets and family topics. She lives in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area with her husband and two sons.